Cindy’s success story after burnout
Hi, my name is Cindy. I’m a 52-year-old single mother to three wonderful, yet demanding, teenagers, and for the past two years, I have been the primary caregiver for my 81-year-old father, Arthur. Dad was diagnosed with moderate-stage Alzheimer’s dementia about eighteen months ago, and honestly, our lives have been flipped upside down.
If you are reading this, you probably know exactly what I mean. I feel like I am drowning, living in a constant state of being overwhelmed and absolutely burnt out. Every day, I wake up with this heavy sense of guilt—guilt that I’m not doing enough, guilt that I’m irritated, and guilt that I’m failing at both caregiving and parenting my own children. I am exhausted, living with chronic fatigue because Dad doesn’t sleep, which means I don't sleep.
I’m at my breaking point. I have no time, no social life, and absolutely no work-life balance. I feel completely alone in this, isolated by a disease that I cannot control. I was constantly experiencing extreme emotional and physical stress, juggling errands and doctors' appointments, while Dad’s memory loss caused him to wander away from the front door three times last month. I felt so much panic and fear; I felt like I was losing control of everything.
Dad used to be such a sharp, dapper man—a retired engineer who never left the house without his hair perfectly combed. Now, he’s lost most of his hair, and he struggles to recognize himself in the mirror. He is constantly repeating the same three questions, "What time is it? Are we going somewhere? Where is my wallet?" I often find him wearing his winter coat in the middle of July. He is forgetful, safety issues are a constant concern, and he has become very repetitive in his speech. He is wandering, dressing dependent, and honestly, the anger and aggression he shows sometimes makes me feel frightened. The shouting and cursing over a simple task like changing his shirt makes me feel so much grief for the man he used to be.
I was in over my head with the constant need for companionship and supervision. I needed a break, I needed space, I needed to recharge, or I was going to end up in the hospital. I had to face the reality that I couldn't do this alone anymore.
I started researching options and felt so much urgency. I finally discovered Renaissance Adult Day Care, and it has been a godsend. I did my research, comparing private pay, CADI, and VA pricing, and found that Renaissance was much more affordable than the alternatives I was looking at. They accept Elderly Waiver (EW), Brain Injury (BI), and Alternative Care (AC) waivers, making it a sustainable solution for our budget.
I decided on the Coon Rapids location in Anoka County. It’s conveniently located at 3045 Coon Rapids Blvd NW, 55433, which is close to our home in Blaine. They also have an Eagan location at 1570 Yankee Doodle Rd, Eagan, MN 55121, for families in Eagan, Bloomington, Apple Valley, or Inver Grove Heights. I know other members come from all over, including Fridley, Spring Lake Park, Maple Grove, Brooklyn Park, Andover, Ham Lake, and Osseo.
The change in our life since enrolling Dad in Renaissance has been profound. Here are some of the 15-20 benefits we have experienced:
A safe and secure environment during the day while I work.
Expert supervision from compassionate staff trained in dementia care.
Nutritious meals, including a catered lunch, breakfast, and snacks.
Social interaction with peers, which has reduced Dad's isolation.
Meaningful activities that engage his mind, like trivia and cognitive games.
Music therapy and singing, which always brings a smile to his face.
Light fitness and mobility exercises, balloon volleyball, and billiards.
Medication reminders to ensure his health is managed.
Arts and crafts for creative expression.
Regular outings and nature excursions.
Beauty and grooming assistance.
Festive and birthday celebrations.
Respite care for me, allowing me to recharge and work-life balance.
A structured daily routine, which helps reduce Dad’s anxiety and wandering.
Transportation services available within a 10-mile radius.
Friendly staff support and encouragement.
Peace of mind, knowing Dad is cared for and not alone.
Support for daily wellness.
A home-like atmosphere, not a sterile, hospital-like setting.
Helpful and compassionate care that allows Dad to maintain his independence.
Now, instead of fighting with my dad at 10 AM, I am working with focus. I can run errands without worrying he has left the stove on. I am a better, calmer mother to my children, and I am not crying in the bathroom out of frustration.
If you are at that breaking point, if you feel guilty and isolated, I promise you, it is time to take action. Renaissance Adult Day Care has immediate openings at their Coon Rapids location (763-433-2980) and their Eagan location. Please do not wait until you are totally burned out. You can start the process to get your life back while ensuring your loved one is safe. I encourage you to join our family of members and apply for their program this week. They are wonderful.
Take the first step and fill out the enrollment form today. You’ll be glad you did.