Carols touching story from burnout to enrollment
Hi, my name is Carol. I am 50 years old, a divorced mother of three, and I was, until recently, drowning. I am a caregiver (CG) for my 82-year-old father, Arthur. Arthur used to be a gregarious, meticulous man—a retired engineer who wore button-down shirts and kept his silver hair perfectly parted. Now, in the moderate-to-late stages of Alzheimer’s, he is a shadow of that person. He is balding on top, with thin, white hair surrounding his head, often wearing mismatched clothes I lay out for him. His body is frail, his posture hunched, and he moves slowly with a walker.
I was living in a constant state of chronic fatigue, burnt out, and completely overwhelmed. I felt guilty for wanting a break, yet I had absolutely no work-life balance. I was juggling my own children, my job, and managing my dad 24/7. I felt so isolated. I had no social life, and I was starting to miss my own doctors' appointments. The irritability was constant. I was at my breaking point, living in a northern suburb of Minneapolis, in Anoka County.
The challenges were unrelenting. Dad was entirely dependent, constantly repeating the same questions about my mother, who passed away ten years ago. His Alzheimer’s had caused wandering, leading to me installing extra safety locks and a camera in the living room. I was dealing with severe sleeplessness because he would be up at odd hours, walking, shouting, or cursing. He fell twice, making the walker essential and his mobility issues a huge challenge. He would forget to bathe, leading to poor hygiene issues, and would struggle to dress himself.
I was desperate, alone, and felt I had no control over my life. I was juggling too many errands, and with his limited mobility, just getting him to the car was a two-person job. I was deeply regretting waiting so long to take action, not knowing adult day care (ADC) existed years ago. I felt guilty for needing space, for needing to recharge. I was living in a state of chronic insomnia, convinced that putting him in a home was the only option, which I couldn't afford and didn't want to do yet.
Then, last week, I hit my absolute limit. I couldn't even take a shower without hearing him crying. That’s when I saw an ad for Renaissance Adult Day Care. I went to their website, renadultday.com, and I saw they had "immediate openings" at their Coon Rapids location (3045 Coon Rapids Blvd NW, 55433). I felt a rush of urgency. I had to do this. I filled out the online form immediately.
I researched everything—Elderly Waiver (EW), CADI, Private Pay, and the VA, and I realized the pricing comparison was much more affordable than home health aides or moving him into nursing home care.
I enrolled him, and it has been life-changing. Renaissance offers so many benefits that it was a no-brainer.
Safety & Security: A secure environment where he is not alone, reducing my fear of his wandering.
Professional Care: Trained staff who know how to handle Alzheimer’s behaviors.
Nutritious Meals: A morning snack, a catered lunch, and an afternoon snack ensure he’s eating well.
Social Connection: He’s made new friends, which helps him not feel isolated.
Meaningful Activities: They have cognitive games, music therapy, and discussion circles that keep his mind engaged.
Respite for Me: I finally have time to work, run errands, or simply recharge my own batteries.
Routine & Structure: The scheduled, familiar routine helps reduce his anxiety and behavioral issues.
Transportation: They offer transportation to and from the center, eliminating the stress of transport.
Medication Management: Staff provides medication reminders.
Gentle Exercise: They encourage movement with balloon volleyball and light fitness.
Creative Outlets: Arts and crafts, gardening, and music events.
Beauty & Grooming: Assistance with personal care.
Fun Outings: Guided excursions.
Peace of Mind: Knowing he is safe and happy allows me to breathe.
Specialized Care: They cater to individuals with dementia, memory loss, and mobility needs, like my dad.
I had to choose between the Coon Rapids location in Anoka County or the Eagan location (1570 Yankee Doodle Rd, 55121) in Dakota County. Though I chose Coon Rapids, I learned that they serve members from all over the area, including Blaine, Fridley, Spring Lake Park, Maple Grove, Brooklyn Park, Andover, Ham Lake, Anoka, Osseo for the northern location, and Bloomington, Apple Valley, and Inver Grove Heights for the southern location.
The success has been overwhelming. After exhausting all other options—trying to hire private aides, badgering family for help, trying to do it all myself—I found peace of mind, immense relief, and a sense of calm. My home, once a place of tension and shouting, is now peaceful. I have my dad back, a gentler version of himself, who actually looks forward to going to the "center" each day.
If you are a caregiver facing the same feelings of guilt, stress, and total isolation, do not wait. The best thing I did was fill out their intake form, initiate the admission process, and complete their care application to officially start this new chapter. It is the best program sign up I have ever done. I am finally able to join a community of support, and I hope you do, too. Please, fill out their register form to apply for a better life for both you and your loved one.
Renaissance Adult Day Care Coon Rapids: 763-433-2980
Renaissance Adult Day Care Eagan: 651-452-0811
renadultday.com