Elena Was Done — A Burnt Out Caregiver in Coon Rapids Found Relief Through Adult Day Care
If you’re caring for a parent with Stage 5 Alzheimer’s in Coon Rapids while working full time and raising teenagers — you are at your absolute limit.
And you’ve been there too long.
This is Elena’s story.
Hi, my name is Elena. I’m a 42-year-old divorced single mom of two teenagers, living in an older, drafty house in Coon Rapids, Minnesota, and I am completely done. I am at my absolute wit’s end.
I’m a project manager, working from home 50 hours a week to keep the lights on and pay for the incontinence supplies, medications, and special foods needed for my 80-year-old father, who lives with me. He has Stage 5 Alzheimer’s.
For the last three years, my life has been a relentless loop of panic and caregiving. My dad, who I call "Pops," used to be a sharp, witty accountant. Now, he’s a frail man with thinning white hair, usually wearing a faded, checkered flannel shirt and corduroy pants that I have to convince him to change, even when he’s spilled breakfast on them.
The Daily Nightmare
My day starts at 5:00 AM, not because I want to, but because Pops is wandering. I often find him trying to put on his shoes on the wrong feet, or attempting to go outside because he thinks he has to catch a train. The house feels impossibly small. My teenagers are trying to do homework while I am managing a full-on tantrum because I won't let Pops eat another bowl of cereal when he doesn't remember eating the first one.
His memory is totally gone. Every photo album is a battle. He looks at pictures of his own wedding and asks, "Who is that young man?" Then he cries.
I haven't had a break. I haven't run an errand alone in over a year. Yesterday, I tried to take a Zoom call while fixing the bed pads he’d pulled into a mess of urine for the second time that day. I actually screamed into a pillow. I am isolated, my friends have stopped calling, and I’m drowning in a house that feels like a prison.
The Breaking Point
Last week, he fell in the hallway, trying to navigate around the walker he refuses to use correctly. My back is constantly strained from lifting him, and I snapped at my daughter for leaving her backpack in the hallway, scaring everyone. The guilt is crushing, but the exhaustion is heavier.
I am 30 days away. I’ve finally done it. I filled out the mountain of paperwork and signed him up for an adult day center here in the Twin Cities—one in Coon Rapids that offers adult day care.
When I clicked "submit" on the application, I felt a mix of intense relief and massive, suffocating guilt. But when I look at the bruise on his arm from the fall, I know I cannot do this alone anymore. I am at my wits' end. I have to believe this 30-day countdown is going to save my sanity, my job, and my kids' normalcy.
You’ve been done long enough.
Renaissance has immediate openings in Coon Rapids and Eagan.
Start your enrollment here — it takes less than five minutes.
Coon Rapids: (763)-433-2980
Eagan: (651)-452-0811