Jenny’s story burnt out caregiver living in Coon Rapids
Hi, my name is Jenny, and I am currently drowning. I live in an older, slightly cramped house in Coon Rapids, Minnesota, that used to feel cozy, but now it feels like a claustrophobic cage. I am a divorced single mom, trying to raise my two kids while providing full-time care for my father, who has mild dementia. I honestly can’t take it anymore. The burnout is so severe that I can’t sleep, I can’t think, and I feel like I am disappearing into a vacuum of caregiving responsibilities.
My dad, Harold, is 82. He’s a sweet man, but his dementia has completely changed the landscape of our lives. He has thin, wispy white hair that he forgets to wash, and he constantly wears the same dated clothing—a faded plaid flannel shirt, brown corduroy pants held up by suspenders, and worn-out loafers, even if it’s ninety degrees outside. He lives in his own memories, often thinking he’s at his old job or that my late mother is in the next room.
My days are a relentless, unremitting cycle of chaos. I work remotely, but I’m interrupted every ten minutes. It starts at 6:00 AM. I have to wake up and immediately help Dad with dressing because he often puts his clothes on backwards or forgets what they are for. The house is filled with problems: the floorboards creak, the hallways are too narrow, and it’s a constant battle to keep him from tripping over the rugs or misplacing things.
The hygiene issues are the hardest. The daily struggle to get him to brush his teeth or shower leaves me feeling frustrated and angry, which then makes me feel crippling guilt afterward. He forgets that he just ate, accusing me of starving him, or he forgets where the bathroom is. I spend my day cleaning up, managing his medications, and monitoring him so he doesn’t walk out the front door in his pajamas.
Our old photo albums, once cherished, are now sources of pure sadness. I look at pictures of him strong and vibrant, and compare them to the frightened, confused man sitting in front of me now, and I just break down. I never get a break. I am always "on."
I feel totally alone and isolated in this house. My kids feel like they are "in the way," and I have absolutely no space for myself—not physically, not emotionally. I can’t run errands; just going to the grocery store is a logistics nightmare that feels like a military operation. I haven't had a moment of silence or solitude in over a year.
Yesterday, Dad fell in the hallway trying to get to the kitchen. He wasn’t badly hurt, but it was the third time this month. The adrenaline and panic nearly gave me a heart attack. That was it. I cannot provide the level of care he needs anymore, and I cannot sacrifice my children’s lives, or my own sanity, to this disease.
I have spent the last hour filling out the paperwork to enroll him at Renaissance Adult Day Care. It’s terrifying, and I feel a pang of guilt, but I know it is the only way to save my sanity. I need to be a mother again, not just a full-time, unpaid nurse. I need to be able to breathe. I need help, and I am finally going to get it.
The story above is an example of what burnt out caregivers like you are experiencing every single day.
The great news for you today is that there is one solution, a Residential Adult Day Care program right down the road from you.
An Adult day care provides weekday supervision, meals, activities, and transportation for adults who need extra support — including individuals with memory loss or dementia.
Your loved one will enjoy a structured day filled with activities, friendship, and support — all in a comfortable setting with caring staff. Family members get peace of mind knowing their loved one is safe, engaged, and cared for during the day.
This program is ideal for adults who:
Want social interaction and meaningful activities
Need supervision during the day for safety
Are experiencing memory loss or early dementia
Feel isolated at home
Thrive with structure, routine, and gentle encouragement
Participants enjoy more movement, more conversation, more purpose — and more joy in their day.
We currently have 2 locations in Anoka County Coon Rapids and one in Dakota County in Eagan.
We commonly receive clients from the following Locations:
Coon rapids-
Blaine, Fridley, Spring Lake Park, Maple Grove, Brooklyn Park, Andover, Ham Lake, Anoka, Osseo
Eagan-
Bloomington, Apple Valley, Inver Grove Heights
In searches, we show up under adult day care near me, pricing and costs, ask us about your options of Private pay, Medicare, VA and Minnesota Elderly Waiver.
Contact us to learn how to enroll your loved one today
Click the link below: