Lisa, burnt out caregiver, in Anoka County

Hi, my name is Lisa, and I am completely drowning.

I live in a small, cramped house in Coon Rapids, Anoka County, and I haven't had a single moment to myself in over two years. As a divorced single mom with four kids and a dad with early-onset dementia, I am the definition of the "sandwich generation" trapped in a nightmare.

My house is older, with narrow hallways and clutter everywhere—mostly because my dad, Arthur, can’t remember where he puts things and I can't keep up. He’s in his mid-70s, constantly struggling, with thinning, balding gray hair, usually wearing old-fashioned checkered shirts and suspenders.

He looks terrified half the time, constantly asking where he is, or getting angry because he can't find his wallet, even though I've already helped him look through the photo albums three times today.

The daily problems are endless. I am forced to be his 24/7 caregiver. Just this morning, he fell in the hallway because he tried to get up without his walker, and I had to lift him—throwing my own back out.

I’m helping him dress, brushing his teeth, and dealing with hygiene issues that humiliate him and make me feel like I’m failing as a daughter. My four kids are always underfoot, fighting for attention, making the small house feel like a cage. I have no space. No time to run errands, no time for myself, and I am severely isolated. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

But I cannot take it anymore. I'm on the brink, and I’m ready to stop this emergency before it becomes a catastrophe.

This week, I am guaranteeing a change. I am enrolling my dad in Renaissance Adult Day Care in Coon Rapids (55433).

I saw online that they have immediate openings and it is a safe, secure, and engaging environment. It’s a fun, spacious place where my dad can finally get out of the house and I can get a break.

I’ve heard great things about their memory care—the games, chair yoga, and mobility exercises they do to help keep seniors active. They offer a meal and it's a supportive environment where he won’t be alone, and I won’t be his only source of interaction.

The best part? I’m utilizing the VA benefits to help with the cost, and they offer transportation for pick-up and drop-off, which gives me back the flexibility I desperately need. They even offer a free tour. I am committed to getting my life back this week. I need this respite, I need the help, and Renaissance is going to give it to me before I totally fall apart.